


the Rules

by popoyoy11



Series: rules, rules [2]
Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-29
Updated: 2016-07-29
Packaged: 2018-07-27 11:04:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 323
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7615555
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/popoyoy11/pseuds/popoyoy11
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The actual written rules from my fic 'The Enterprise Manual to Good Living'.</p>
            </blockquote>





	the Rules

**Author's Note:**

> So for anyone curious about what the rules are actually like, here is the list.

THE ENTERPRISE BIBLE (MORE TO BE ADDED LATER)

  1. Do not fall in love with James T. Kirk.
  2. If you did fall in love anyway, it’s okay, walk it off.
  3. Don’t develop a crush on the Commander.
  4. Don’t ask Uhura to teach you how to flirt in other languages. (Kirk did this once, he had to avoid an entire race of alien for a month. Apparently Uhura _did_ teach him some sentences. She just didn’t teach him the meaning.)
  5. Do not get in a game of truth or dare with the alpha shift bridge crew.
  6. Don’t ask Lt. Uhura about Commander Spock.
  7. If you are asked to go to the Med Bay, _do not avoid it, do not put it off, come immediately._
  8. Do not assist the Captain if he asks you to lie to dr. McCoy.
  9. Don’t call Cupcake, Cupcake.
  10. Do not try to out-sass Commander Spock.
  11. Don’t accept any drinks given to you by Ensign Chekov.
  12. Prank Day is every fourth of the month. Except for April, the entire month is dedicated to pranks. It’s a ship-wide event and everybody’s fair game.
  13. Join the Spock-Kirk betting pool, it’s a must.
  14. Do not try to stop the Captain when he storms out of the bridge (it’s probably Commander Spock related).
  15. Same goes to Commander Spock when _he_ storms out of the bridge.
  16. We don’t talk about the Pon Farr Incident.
  17. We also don’t talk about the Tribble Incident.
  18. Don’t let Lt. Commander Scott rope you into a drinking game.
  19. In case of a sex pollen situation. Orgies usually ensue. If you don’t want to participate you should go to the Med Bay, if you do want to participate, however. It’s usually in the rec room.
  20. Don’t ask Lt. Sulu about his daughter.
  21. Don’t touch Lt. Sulu’s plants.
  22. Don’t give the Captain and/or Lt. Sulu challenges or dares.
  23. Don’t EVER mention the sexual tension/pining going on between the two top commanding officers.



**Author's Note:**

> Talk Star Trek to me on my [tumblr](http://impossible-hue-of-blue.tumblr.com/)! ;) Your words make me happy, don't forget to comment!


End file.
